Mom Never Met Lil’ Murph (revisited)

Let’s face it, the humans came up with a special occasion and now I’m smacked in the face and beaten upside the head with memories of all kinds…     If this is a day you celebrate or if it isn’t, we hope you have a lovely one. I am grateful to be a Mom to multiple species, please don’t take that whole “..beaten upside the head” portion too too grimly.  Mothers can be a blessing. Murph and I have made more friends since this was shown some time ago. To them, (if you’re Mom is great, show her you love her first, and)  somewhat meet my Mom, if you wish:

Debra -Wesley-Obituary

….She departed her earthly home on June 22nd, 2017.

Jane, as she preferred to be called, enjoyed writing poetry and had two works that were published. She also enjoyed coloring, bowling and playing games of all kinds with family and friends. She was an admirer of American Indian heritage and enjoyed an array of music including the oldies, chirping birds and surprising to many, Metallica. She even attended a Metallica concert with her daughter….1992.

Jane loved all animals and enjoyed going to the zoo, carnivals, pow-wows, and dining out with her husband. She also enjoyed shopping with her daughters and grandchildren. Amusingly, in later years, Jane and her mother discovered that they nearly always donned similar attire to attend church without previous planning. Jane was preceded in death by her mother and father, her step-father….

*Where there is …. above, it is an omission. No need for all the rest here.

     Mom would have loved Murph! He has character and a loving spirit! Years ago, when she and Dad would occasionally make the 40 minute or so trip to visit, the first thing Mom would do, naturally, is hug me & a grandson or two (now in their 20’s) if they were visible. The 2nd priority was to use the bathroom. The next thing she’d do is ask, “Where’s my baby?” She was referring to Copper, my first Bearded Dragon (you can learn a wee bit about her here). photo My Mom loved that little girl. She held, cuddled, and kissed her just as I.

 *Informative note: Spikey things can be quite cuddly!

     We lost Copper 1/4/14. An awful winter storm was approaching that night. She was held by 3 family members as she left this world. Sadly, Mom wasn’t one. Our loss left me in a pit of despair. I didn’t work for a week. I couldn’t shop for produce without thinking of Copper. Her essence could be felt when entering the house for months. She was my companion (& my 1st truly life-impacting loss from Death). She slept on the pillow with me every night (do not try this at home).

     I’d wake in the middle of the night only to cry myself back to sleep. It was heart-wrenching to keep her body cold until we could drive the streets to a certain crematory (where she was cremated with her blankie and a teddy). Some may find this odd & I’m fine with that.

      In all this, I forgot my Mom was sad too. She’d call sounding so caring, to check on me because I wasn’t making any phone calls and the roads were hazardous for a week or more for travel. I confess, if I had my Mom in my life again, I wouldn’t be so wrapped up in my own duties and concerns that I’d neglect her need for me as well.

     I called Mom and Dad nearly every day except during that sorrow, and at the end of Mom’s life. She was no longer home with Dad where he could answer the phone for her. She could no longer answer the phone beside her in the room which became her living quarter. Sometimes I’d call anyway hoping the ring would connect our souls.

     I still call my Dad at home every day. Of course, in my eyes, I can’t seem to do enough for him (same as I feel about Mom) to satisfy my own level of care-taking and thanking him for being so great! We just celebrated his 83rd birthday! Mom waited until after his birthday last year to leave here.

     Dad still doesn’t understand my love for scaly beauties, but is happy they give me joy. Mom loved all animals. I found a picture of her with a Boa Constrictor on her shoulders & a wide smile on her face!

      I would have taken Murph to meet Mom in that place, wherein sadly was the last room she saw. I brought Murph to his new home 4/23/17 to live with me. Mom wasn’t well by then, she needed medical experts near at all times. but had moments of absolute coherency and sweet Lil’ Murph in her hands would have made her face light up. I just know it. The place she stayed allowed rare pet visits, but probably only of the typical sort.

     I considered sneaking Murph in under my sweater or just telling the staff a lizard is entering the building & that’s just how it is. I didn’t because long road trips stress him. Copper loved long trips, I took her with her bag of blankies and food (yep, like a diaper bag) to visit people and Mom often. Murph likes very short driving trips only (but long walks). I’d pluck Mom from the facilities when I could to get coffee or food, go on drives, take her home to visit Dad & the cats or to my place. After I adopted Murph, leaving the facility with her was no longer an option, so she & he did not have the privilege of meeting one another.

Mom, meet Murph, your new grandlizard.20180327_131840

I hope for you happiness wherever you are, sweetest Mom and Grandma♥



you can see here how Lil’ Murph in my life is good for both of us, & how I needed him the night Mom died:
“Lizards Are A Girl’s Best Friend!”

I love you so very much Mom. You’re not being here doesn’t always seem real. I wish I could see you. I wish we could call each other again. I wish we could play Kismet. I hope I’ve done right by you. You didn’t deserve pain of any kind. I hope you are happy and loved and free. Please forgive me for my faults. You are the most loving mother a girl can have. Thank you Mom.



You Marry Me, You Marry My Lizard

The video below is a beautiful example of love between humans and lizards. I cried last night when I watched it, and again this morning (grrr). This iguana loved her family, and was loved as she deserved, by a man, as he grew from a boy and grew his own family. The whole family loved this girl! Within past posts and in our gallery you can see Goliath and Copper, wonderful souls I had in my life. This video forced me to think of their love, lives, the joy they gave, and their deaths again.





I too took a photo of Copper when I knew she had long before breathed her last breath. I am not sure why. I have never shown these photos of my life-less Copper. I’m showing you today: img_0250.jpgCopper was covered with that soft, lavendar chenille blankie you see upon her,  and was rested onto one of her teddy bears days before and during her cremation.

Copper won hearts with her own

To say our bond was strong does not convey the depth of what we had. I knew when she was awake under her blankie awaiting the morning embrace, when she was lonely, bored, hungry, you name it. I knew Her. I was hers as much as she was mine. I was leary to love another lizard because I thought it unfair to the new lizard in my life, should I only wish it to be my Copper girl again.

When I met Lil’ Murph, my heart went to him. He was a lonely baby boy. When I was begged to take him to give him a better life, and by another I was told it was time to love again, I relunctantly did so. I felt it was a bad time for the responsibilty & also that I wasn’t ready. I am so happy I brought Murph home to live with me! He is unique and wonderful, and I was proven to be wrong, it was time to love again!

Sweet and oh so funny Murph

Rest in peace and in love




All the others

“Give me Lizardry or give me Death!” – Dawn Renee♥