On more than one occasion, I have been offered cash for my lizard!! Lil’ Murph is not for sale!! He is not just gorgeous to look at, he is my friend! I’ll even bump it up a notch to liken him to my reptilian child.

Those that have seen the strange woman walking a dog and lizard may think she is just trying to get attention…. NO, my lizard should be able to experience walks under the sun as any creature & I simply do not care what the “civilization” thinks.

If they think my lizard is cool… well, that’s cool. If they choose to think I am strange, they can just…       go about their business as usual.

My lizard so enjoys to be walked!! He rests at my shoulder peacefully – UNTIL it’s time to go home – this boy knows the entire backyard area! It’s tricky work, especially at times like one particular day, when the dog was ready to go home and the mild adventure-seeking, free-spirited lizard was not.

Picture this a moment: Now, we’re in the old ally by the house, there is minimal traffic here at any time of the day or night. The dog’s leash is stretched in the homeward direction (I think the sweet boy gets dumber as our long, hot walks progress). He is ready for water & rest.

And so anyway… as I mentioned, Murph knows his backyard. He wants to walk more! Here is when peaceful observance of his world morphs (or Murph’s) into sheer rebellion!!      So what does he do?

He crawls down my body and heads the opposite direction of home, with his harness outstretched the other way of the dog’s…

Okay, Murph is plotting his path to descent in the desire to walk around on the Earth, so I decide now is the time, a safe distance from intersections, that I let him down & fix a wee issue. I take my shoe off because something got in it and has been annoying me. Well, the gravel is burning hot so  I hopped to the little strip of grass to address this problem.

I have to throw down the dog’s poo bags, immobilize the dog and the little rebel, tap stated shoe upside down, while seeing to it I dropped not the house key and what-not I took along on our journey (2 more hands would be beneficial at such a time).

As luck would have it, now is when a minivan chooses to navigate itself into the mess and in my way. I had to make the lady driver wait as I collected all obstacles from the path.           It happened thusly:

STEP 1) Immediately grab Murph & place him on my shoulder.

STEP 2) Retrace my hops back to the gravel to get poo bags & shoe.

STEP 3) Toss stated items to that grassy strip.

STEP 4) Look up while politely raising my finger to suggest “Please, give me a moment” and give a humbled grin.

STEP 5) Make way back to grass.

STEP 6) Secure Murph with one hand & not trip on the leash of his harness dangling before me.

STEP 7) Walk toward the dog as I reel him in with the retractable leash, I take a few steps forward and reel him back (& repeat a few times) toward myself, Murph, poo & that shoe.

STEP 8) Contemplate the peculiarity of such moments in my life as I amass what was scattered.

Did she smile at the unexpected, mildly comical scene of woe for me? Nope, nothing. I smiled, I waved, I said I was sorry. I think she avoided eye contact. So okay woman, you miserable soul, I retract my apology. I’m not sorry!

Oh well.

 There I stand, feeling like a character in Dr. Seuss book:

My shoe is off,  my foot is hot, I have a lizard I like to hold…  & so on.

And finally,

STEP 9) Travel the short distance home with everyone & everything while shaking my head about the odd situations in which I often find myself.

“Give me Lizardry or give me Death!” – ♥ Dawn Renee