Mom Never Met Lil’ Murph

Debra -Wesley-Obituary

….She departed her earthly home on June 22nd, 2017.

Jane, as she preferred to be called, enjoyed writing poetry and had two works that were published. She also enjoyed coloring, bowling and playing games of all kinds with family and friends. She was an admirer of American Indian heritage and enjoyed an array of music including the oldies, chirping birds and surprising to many, Metallica. She even attended a Metallica concert with her daughter….1992.

Jane loved all animals and enjoyed going to the zoo, carnivals, pow-wows, and dining out with her husband. She also enjoyed shopping with her daughters and grandchildren. Amusingly, in later years, Jane and her mother discovered that they nearly always donned similar attire to attend church without previous planning. Jane was preceded in death by her mother and father, her step-father….

*Where there is …. above, it is an omission. No need for all the rest here.

     Mom would have loved Murph! He has character and a loving spirit! Years ago, when she and Dad would occasionally make the 40 minute or so trip to visit, the first thing Mom would do, naturally, is hug me & a grandson or two (now in their 20’s) if they were visible. The 2nd priority was to use the bathroom. The next thing she’d do is ask, “Where’s my baby?” She was referring to Copper, my first Bearded Dragon (you can learn a wee bit about her here). photo My Mom loved that little girl. She held, cuddled, and kissed her just as I.

 *Informative note: Spikey things can be quite cuddly!

     We lost Copper 1/4/14. An awful winter storm was approaching that night. She was held by 3 family members as she left this world. Sadly, Mom wasn’t one. Our loss left me in a pit of despair. I didn’t work for a week. I couldn’t shop for produce without thinking of Copper. Her essence could be felt when entering the house for months. She was my companion (& my 1st truly life-imacting loss from Death). She slept on the pillow with me every night (do not try this at home).

     I’d wake in the middle of the night only to cry myself back to sleep. It was heart-wrenching to keep her body cold until we could drive the streets to a certain crematory (where she was cremated with her blankie and a teddy). Some may find this odd & I’m fine with that.

      In all this, I forgot my Mom was sad too. She’d call sounding so caring, to check on me because I wasn’t making any phone calls and the roads were hazardous for a week or more for travel. I confess, if I had my Mom in my life again, I wouldn’t be so wrapped up in my own duties and concerns that I’d neglect her need for me as well.

     I called Mom and Dad nearly every day except during that sorrow, and at the end of Mom’s life. She was no longer home with Dad where he could answer the phone for her. She could no longer answer the phone beside her in the room which became her living quarter. Sometimes I’d call anyway hoping the ring would connect our souls.

     I still call my Dad at home every day. Of course, in my eyes, I can’t seem to do enough for him (same as I feel about Mom) to satisfy my own level of care-taking and thanking him for being so great! We just celebrated his 83rd birthday! Mom waited until after his birthday last year to leave here.

     Dad still doesn’t understand my love for scaly beauties, but is happy they give me joy. Mom loved all animals. I found a picture of her with a Boa Constrictor on her shoulders & a wide smile on her face!

      I would have taken Murph to meet Mom in that place, wherein sadly was the last room she saw. I brought Murph to his new home 4/23/17 to live with me. Mom wasn’t well by then, she needed medical experts near at all times. but had moments of absolute coherency and sweet Lil’ Murph in her hands would have made her face light up. I just know it. The place she stayed allowed rare pet visits, but probably only of the typical sort.

     I considered sneaking Murph in under my sweater or just telling the staff a lizard is entering the building & that’s just how it is. I didn’t because long road trips stress him. Copper loved long trips, I took her with her bag of blankies and food (yep, like a diaper bag) to visit people and Mom often. Murph likes very short driving trips only (but long walks). I’d pluck Mom from the facilities when I could to get coffee or food, go on drives, take her home to visit Dad & the cats or to my place. After I adopted Murph, leaving the facility with her was no longer an option, so she & he did not have the privilege of meeting one another.

Mom, meet Murph, your new grandlizard.20180327_131840

I hope for you happiness wherever you are, sweetest Mom and Grandma♥

 

 

you can see here how Lil’ Murph in my life is good for both of us, & how I needed him the night Mom died:
“Lizards Are A Girl’s Best Friend!”

I love you so very much Mom. You’re not being here doesn’t always seem real. I wish i could see you. I wish we could call each other again. I wish we could play Kismet. I hope I’ve done right by you. You didn’t deserve pain of any kind. I hope you are happy and loved and free. Please forgive me for my faults. You are the most loving mother a girl can have. Thank you Mom.

 

11 thoughts on “Mom Never Met Lil’ Murph

  1. This got me so choked up! How your mom used to ask where her baby was meaning cooper and your loss of cooper and your mom. How devastating. I’m so sorry for you loss.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Here is the true deal.
    Your mom is amazingly proud of you.
    I am.
    And I am not even your mom.
    A female who finds the true beauty in pet reptiles?
    Priceless.
    You remind me of all the now almost extinct horny toads i would catch as a kid, stroke their horns, and they would fall asleep in my palm.
    They normally shoot blood out of their eyes, at predators they didn’t like, like almost every human.
    I loved them to no end.
    And now they have reached their almost extinction end. I can’t find them anywhere in the wild.
    Which of course, humans did.
    Maybe the reptiles will re-inherit the earth after we stop killing it, and everything on it.
    The insects will too.
    Maybe, actually, that is not a bad thing.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Those words mean a great deal to me. Thank you. You made me a little teary. ….sigh…I’m too sensitive when I’m not angry 🙂 I think you’re a beautiful person too. After all, you showed love to blood-squirting lizards! I tried to picture little you with a relaxed little sweety in your hands! Sad what humans do. Indeed, perhaps they will get their planet to themselves again! Could you imagine how much squealing I’d do from the abundance of cuteness everywhere! ha

    Liked by 1 person

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